Before you press send
You have about three seconds between typing a message and sending it. That’s the only time it belongs to you.
The Unsend Machine
Press send, then try to take it back. Watch what happens to the copies.
Copies out there
- --:--Nothing sent yet. The message is still yours.
What happened to Kai
- 21:47Kai, 13, sends that message to a private group of six mates. To him it’s a throwaway comment.
- 21:47Reece screenshots it. He isn’t trying to cause trouble. He thinks it’s funny.
- 21:48Kai has second thoughts and deletes it for everyone. The screenshot is already in a group of 31.
- 07:30Maya sees it before school. So does her mum.
- 09:15Her mum sends the screenshot to the head of year. It has Kai’s name and the time on it.
Kai and Maya are made up, but this happens in schools every week.
At what moment could Kai have stopped all of this? Take three answers.
The class should get to this: only before he pressed send. Deleting it, saying sorry, saying “it was a joke” – none of it gets the message back.
Grown-up first: tell a short, true story about a message you wish you hadn’t sent. It makes it much easier for them to be honest.
Then ask each other: at what moment could Kai have stopped all of this? The answer is only before he pressed send. Deleting it, saying sorry, saying “it was a joke”: none of it gets the message back.
Phone manners
Nearly all phone manners come from one idea: the person in front of you, or on the other end, is a real person.
Rude or fine?
Read each one out, and the class shouts “rude” or “fine”. Then tap the card to reveal the answer.
Read each one out and both say “rude” or “fine” at the same time. Then tap the card to see who was right.
Keep your phone yours
Phone theft isn’t about manners, but it happens in public, so it belongs here. About 71,000 phones were stolen in London in 2025. Across England and Wales, around 200 people a day have a phone or bag snatched.
Step back from the road
Snatchers on bikes and e-bikes grab phones from people standing at the edge of the pavement. Stand back, and look up when you cross.
Lock it properly
Use a passcode, not just a swipe. Turn on Stolen Device Protection on an iPhone, or Theft Detection Lock on Android.
Know your IMEI
Dial *#06# to see your phone’s IMEI number. Write it down somewhere that isn’t your phone, and register it at immobilise.com.
Set up tracking now
Turn on your phone’s find-and-lock feature before you need it. After it’s stolen is too late.
Never chase or fight
No phone is worth getting hurt for. Let it go and get somewhere safe.
If it’s taken
Call 999 if it has just happened or you’re hurt, otherwise 101 or report online. Lock it remotely, and ask your network to block it using the IMEI.
Pick the one rule people your age break most, and the one adults break most. Take a show of hands. Adults are usually worst at rules 1 and 2, and the class will enjoy saying so.
Each of you picks the rule people your age break most, and the rule the grown-up breaks most. The grown-up has to accept the answer. Then dial *#06# on both phones and write down your IMEI numbers.
Sent means out there
Apps make messages feel private and temporary. They are neither.
Five myths. Tap to bust them.
Where your message goes
When you press send, the message doesn’t live in one place. It can end up in all of these:
How far can one screenshot travel?
people could see it.
This is the most it could reach, because lots of people are in the same chats. The real number is usually smaller, but nobody knows how much smaller, including the person who sent it.
Who might see it later?
Your digital footprint is everything online that links back to you, including what other people post about you. Employers and sports clubs often look people up. Colleges and universities sometimes do. And if a message ever becomes evidence, it gets printed out and read aloud in a room you’ll wish you weren’t in.
Fake pictures count too
AI apps can turn an ordinary photo into a fake nude, or make it look like someone said something they never said. In law, a fake sexual image of anyone under 18 is treated the same as a real one: both are child abuse images. Making one “for a laugh” is a serious crime.
Check before you share
Forwarding a fake doesn’t feel like doing anything. But when a lie goes round, everyone who passed it on helped it travel. Full Fact, the UK fact-checking charity, uses the first three questions below.
Where’s it from?
Who first posted it? A news site you’ve heard of, or an account that appeared last week?
What’s missing?
A short clip can cut out what happened before and after. Ask what you’re not being shown.
How do you feel?
If it makes you furious or scared, slow down. Fakes are made to make you share before you think.
Check the date
Old videos get reposted as if they happened today, often after a big news story.
Find it somewhere else
If it’s real and big, trusted news sites will have it too. A reverse image search shows where a picture first appeared.
Could it be AI?
AI can fake voices, videos and screenshots. Strange hands, mouths that don’t match the words, or a voice that sounds flat are clues.
Posts can end in prison
After the riots in summer 2024, people were jailed for posts that stirred up hatred. One man was jailed for 3 months for a fake TikTok live claiming rioters were chasing him. Posting something you know is false to cause serious harm is the offence of false communications.
Move the sliders on the board. Start with a group of 6 and one forward, then try a group of 30 and two forwards. Ask: “Kai sent it to six people. How many saw it?”
Set the first slider to the size of the biggest group chat you’re really in, with one forward. Then try two forwards. Ask: “Kai sent it to six people. How many saw it?” Then pick the one check in “Check before you share” you’d actually use.
When police get involved
Some messages aren’t just unkind. They are crimes. Being young doesn’t stop the police being called, and “it was a joke” is not a defence.
This is the age of criminal responsibility in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. From your 10th birthday, you can be arrested, interviewed and charged. In Scotland the age is 12. Everyone in this room is over the line.If you’re reading this, you’re over the line.
Things people your age do that are crimes
Each card says what someone did. Tap it to see what the law calls it.
Dealers in your DMs
Dealers advertise on Snapchat and other apps, using emoji menus and stories that disappear. In a survey of 16 to 24-year-olds, about 1 in 4 had seen drugs advertised on social media, and more than half of those saw them on Snapchat.
What they sell often isn’t what they say. Researchers at the University of Bath tested vapes confiscated in schools. About 1 in 6 contained spice, a synthetic drug that has left pupils collapsing at school. Only about 1 in 100 actually contained the THC (the drug in cannabis) they were sold as.
Ordinary vapes from these sellers aren’t safe either. Tests on vapes taken off pupils at one school found some with more than twice the safe level of lead. Selling nicotine vapes to anyone under 18 is illegal, and from 29 October 2026 that covers all vapes. Disposable vapes have been banned since June 2025.
The sextortion scam
Criminal gangs, often based abroad, set up fake accounts pretending to be a girl or boy your age. They flirt, send a picture that isn’t really them, and ask for one back. As soon as they have it, they demand money or gift cards. If you don’t pay, they threaten to send the picture to your friends and family.
It happens to thousands of young people in the UK, most often boys aged 14 to 18. If it happens to you, you are the victim of a crime. You are not in trouble.
What actually happens when police get involved
Police records can come up years later, for example on the enhanced background checks (DBS checks) needed to work with children, in healthcare, or in the police. Schools add their own consequences as well, up to permanent exclusion.
The law is on your side too
Every law on those cards also protects you. If any of it happens to you, it isn’t your fault, and you don’t have to put up with it.
- Don’t reply. Block them, then report it on the app.
- Keep evidence of threats and abuse: screenshots that show the username, the date and the time.
- Tell an adult you trust: a parent, a teacher, or Childline if there’s nobody else.
- Call 999 if someone is in danger right now. Call 101 to report something that isn’t an emergency.
One exception: never screenshot, save or forward a nude of anyone under 18, not even as evidence. That is itself a crime. Leave it where it is and tell an adult straight away.
Seeing something upsetting
Fights, cruelty, gore, porn. Most people your age see things online they never went looking for. It isn’t your fault, and you can do a lot about it.
You didn’t go looking for it
Ofcom found that children first come across violent content online while they’re still at primary school. Most of it turned up by accident: in big group chats, in posts from strangers in their feed, or because the algorithm pushed it at them. Fights at local schools and in the street were some of the most common.
The age most children first see violent content online, usually by accident (Ofcom, 2024).
The average age people first saw porn. Half had seen it by then (Children’s Commissioner, 2023).
Had seen porn by the age of 9. A lot of it showed violence, which isn’t what real relationships are like.
Since July 2025 the law has made apps and websites protect under-18s from porn, and from content about suicide and self-harm, including age checks on porn sites. It doesn’t catch everything, so you still need to know what to do.
What to do in the moment
You don’t have to finish watching. Swipe away, close the app, put the phone down.
Every app has a report button. The person who posted it isn’t told who reported them.
Not even to say “this is awful”. Every share is more harm to the person in it and their family, and some things, like sexual images of under-18s or terrorist videos, are illegal to share.
A parent, a teacher, or Childline on 0800 1111. Saying it out loud helps it stop going round your head.
Train your feed
The algorithm notices what you stop on, even if you hated it, and shows you more of it. You can push back.
Don’t linger
Watching to the end, watching again or reading the comments all tell the app you want more.
Tap “Not interested”
Press and hold the post, choose Not interested, and the app shows you less like it.
Filter words out
Most apps let you hide words and hashtags from your feed and comments. Add the ones that upset you.
Reset your feed
TikTok’s “Refresh your For You feed” and Instagram’s “Reset suggested content” wipe what the app has learned about you and start again.
If it’s stuck in your head
Feeling shaky, sick, angry or unable to sleep after seeing something horrible is normal, and it usually fades. If it doesn’t, or if something online has made you think about hurting yourself, talk to someone today: Childline on 0800 1111, Samaritans on 116 123, or text SHOUT to 85258.
At lunch, a mate holds out their phone: “You have to see this fight.” What could you say to get out of watching without making it weird? Take three answers.
Good ones are short and don’t lecture: “Nah, I’m good.” “Is he OK though?” “Report it, man.”
The grown-up plays the mate at lunch: “You have to see this fight.” The teenager practises a way out that doesn’t sound weird. Then swap.
Good ones are short and don’t lecture: “Nah, I’m good.” “Is he OK though?” “Report it, man.”
What would you do?
Nine real-life situations. The class votes A, B or C, and then you tap to see what happens.Nine real-life situations. You each pick A, B or C, then tap to see what happens.
The four readers test
Before you send anything you’re not sure about, picture four people reading it. If any of them would make you wince, don’t send it.
The person it’s about
They’ll see it in the end. Picture their face now.
Your family
Your parent, carer or nan, reading over your shoulder.
A future boss
Someone deciding whether to give you the job, the place or the team spot.
A police officer
Reading it off a printout with your name and the time at the top.
Exit quiz: true or false?
Who to contact
Someone is in danger right now.
Report a crime to the police when it isn’t an emergency.
Childline. Free and confidential for anyone under 19, and it won’t show on the phone bill. You can also get help at childline.org.uk.
Get a nude of yourself taken down if you’re under 18. Childline Report Remove
An adult is contacting you in a sexual way, or someone is blackmailing you. ceop.police.uk
An app won’t take something harmful down. reportharmfulcontent.com
Samaritans. Free, day or night, for anyone who is struggling or thinking about hurting themselves.
Free, confidential text support, day or night, if you’d rather type than talk.
Honest answers about drugs and vapes, day or night. You can also text 82111. talktofrank.com
Report a crime, like a dealer account, without giving your name. crimestoppers-uk.org/fearless
Terrorist or extremist videos and posts, reported anonymously. gov.uk/report-terrorism
999 if it’s just happened or you’re hurt, otherwise 101. Then ask your network to block it using the IMEI.
You did it
Mark each part done as you go. When all seven are finished, your certificate unlocks here.
Names stay on this phone. Nothing is sent anywhere.
Take a screenshot of the certificate to keep it.
Take it home
A phone agreement to make with your family, a guide for parents, three follow-up lessons, and the words to know.
Build a family phone agreement
Tick the ones your family agrees to. The agreement writes itself on the right. Copy it and stick it on the fridge.
For parents and carers
Don’t punish them for telling you
If taking the phone away is what happens when they report something, they’ll stop reporting. Thank them for telling you first, and deal with the rest later.
Talk about sextortion before it happens
Tell them straight out: “If anyone ever blackmails you with a picture, come to me. You won’t be in trouble, and we’ll sort it together.” Children who’ve heard that sentence are far more likely to ask for help.
Keep phones out of bedrooms at night
Charge them downstairs. It helps sleep, and most of the worst messages get sent late at night.
Watch for changes
Watch for being secretive, jumpy when a notification comes in, suddenly deleting apps, a new “friend” you’ve never heard of, or asking for money or gift cards.
Don’t look at the image
If there’s a nude involved, don’t view, copy or forward it, even to the school. Tell the school’s DSL or the police what you know, and let them handle the image.
If they’ve seen something horrible
Stay calm and don’t ask them to show you. Ask how they feel, not just what they saw. Most of it arrives by accident, so don’t punish them for it.
Know what a “THC vape” is
Dealers sell them to teenagers on Snapchat, and many contain spice. Tell your child they can always call you if a friend collapses, and you’ll come first and ask questions later.
Show them what you do
Rules 1 and 2 apply to you too. Children copy what adults do far more than what adults say.
Three follow-up lessons (20 minutes each)
Our group chat rules
- In small groups, list 5 things that make a group chat good and 5 that make it bad.
- Merge the lists into one class charter.
- Everyone signs it, and it goes up on the wall.
Spot the fake friend
- Show three made-up DM conversations. One is a real friend and two are groomers or scammers.
- Pupils underline the warning signs: flattery, secrecy, moving apps, gifts, urgency.
- Finish on how to report to CEOP.
Search yourself
- For homework, pupils search their own name and username with an adult.
- They note what a stranger could learn about them.
- Back in class, they check their privacy settings together, one app at a time.
Words to know
For teachers and parents
What this lesson draws on
The lesson itself is new, but its structure and facts come from existing UK resources. They’re all free and worth using for follow-up work.
- UKCIS: Education for a Connected World, the national framework. This lesson covers its Online reputation, Online bullying, Online relationships and Privacy strands.
- SWGfL ProjectEVOLVE: free activities for every statement in that framework, used by over 15,000 schools.
- CEOP Education: the NCA’s financially motivated sextortion alert and reporting nude images (11–18).
- National Crime Agency: urgent warning about sextortion.
- IWF and Childline: Report Remove.
- College of Policing: responding to young people sharing nude images (Outcome 21).
- GOV.UK: Online Safety Act new criminal offences, in force since 31 January 2024.
- Ofcom: encountering violent online content starts at primary school (2024) and age checks to protect children online.
- Children’s Commissioner: “A lot of it is actually just abuse”, young people and pornography (2023).
- University of Bath: spice in vapes confiscated in schools, Volteface: drugs sold on social media, and GOV.UK: selling vaping products.
- GOV.UK: county lines guidance.
- Metropolitan Police: mobile phone advice, Mayor of London: phone theft figures and Immobilise.
- Full Fact: toolkit for spotting misinformation.
- Childnet, Internet Matters and the NSPCC for guides for parents.
The legal summaries are simplified for 12-year-olds and are not legal advice. They describe the law in England and Wales as of September 2026. Scotland and Northern Ireland have similar offences under different laws. Everyone named in the examples is made up.